兴奋剂是通才的杀手
从小我就被开了兴奋剂来“治疗”严重的注意力缺陷多动症（ADHD）。当时我大约7岁，根本不知道发生了什么，也从未真正质疑过这一切。快进18年：经过大量的自我反思，我很高兴地说我并不处于我想要的状态。
兴奋剂是有代价的。
我逐渐意识到，患有ADHD的人通常是：
- 观察力强
- 社交能力好
- 通才
我也注意到自己是：
- 专才
- 僵尸
- 反社交
“锁定”= 专才。
我讨厌专业化。它很脆弱。历史上，通才一直占据主导地位。企业家是通才。我想成为一名企业家。
我现在在一份工作中，软件工程师。我常常在想，如果我停止使用兴奋剂，我该怎么办？我对自己现在的生活完全不满意。我会找到摆脱这种状态的方法。
我并不是一个内向的人，但我却像一个内向者一样成长。这种感觉很孤独，看到别人社交却奇怪地感到格格不入。
我通过反复试验确认了这一切。停止使用兴奋剂，再重新开始。
在20多岁时发现自己与想象中的完全不同，真是一种奇怪的体验。
当你第一次以原始的视角看待世界时，它变得美丽。食物的味道变得美妙。时刻变得神奇而强大。让人发笑并进行深入交谈的感觉令人愉悦。我不相信有很多人能如此突然地体验到这种差异。
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From a young age, I was prescribed stimulants to 'treat' a strong case of ADHD. Being ~7 at the time, I had no clue what was going on. Never really questioned it either. Fast forward 18 years: through a lot of introspection, I can happily say I am not in a position I'd like to be in.<p>Stimulants come at tradeoffs.<p>I've come to realize that people with ADHD are:
- Observant
- Social
- Generalist<p>I've also come to notice that I am:
- Specialist
- Zombie
- Anti Social<p>"Locked-in" = specialist.<p>I hate specialization. Its fragile. Throughout history, generalists have reigned. Entrepreneurs are generalists. I want to be an entrepreneur.<p>I work a job now. Software Engineering. Im left wondering, what will I do if I leave the stimulants? I dont vouch for the life I live, at all. I will find a way out of it.<p>Im not an introvert. Yet I've grown as one. Its isolating, seeing people socialize and strangely feeling out of place.<p>I've confirmed all of this through trial and error. Dropping the stimulants, going back on them.<p>Its an odd discovery in your 20s that you are a completely different person than you had thought.<p>The world becomes beautiful when you see it raw for the first time. Food tastes wonderful. Moments become magical and powerful. It feels tingly to make someone laugh and converse deeply. I dont believe there are many people who've experienced the difference so suddenly.